My Immortal
By Emily Strauser, Editor-in-Chief
Lynn sat against the dresser on her knees, face in her hands. It had been so sudden; the shooting, the bombing... This war was just too much. The people did the best they could and made a run for it when the raid began, trying to stay alive. The enemy had closed in on them, and many of the citizens of the city had made it to the shelter. That wasn't the case for poor Collin Martin, who had been separated from his family during the raid.
The woman had found Collin in ruins, with only one man lying in the debris that had been left behind. Lynn ran to his side, recognizing him as her son. She picked up the boy and held him in her arms. She sobbed, praying that Collin wouldn't die. He couldn't die. She looked at the ruins around her, knowing that any medical help on the way would be too late. It was only a matter of time now. Soon enough, the young man opened his eyes to see his mother was with him. The normally expressionless son gave Lynn a small smile. "Mom," he whispered weakly.
Please, Lynn prayed, don't leave, Collin. You can't die this way. Not now. It’s too soon. "Collin," she begged, a choked sob escaping her throat, "I love you. Please don’t go."
Collin coughed weakly, unable to answer at first. He began to feel himself fading, the world around him starting to haze up, so he murmured, "I love you, too.”
Lynn nodded as he closed his eyes for the last time. She started singing a lullaby quietly as her son left the world, as if she was trying to put her son’s immortal soul to sleep.
When help finally came, it was far too late.
Collin's room was as if he’d never left. His brothers and sister had realized that very quickly. Whenever someone passed his old room, they could almost see him sitting on his bed with a novel that Arthur, his father, may have given to him. Daniel, one of his brothers, would sometimes see him nearby when he tried getting his mind off of things by playing video games. Marie, his sister, thought she saw him once outside, but she figured it was her imagination. Lynn spent most of her time in her bedroom now, and her other children were very worried about her. Jason, Lynn’s eldest son, even came after a panicked call from Marie, and he too was worried about his mother.
Lynn still felt the bitter pain in her chest, even as time went on. She brought her hand up to it as if she was trying to stop her heart from shattering. Daniel listened up against the door to see what his mother was doing, but he heard nothing. He reported to his siblings that he didn't even hear sobbing. It had been quiet in the house since Collin’s death, and it would seem Lynn hadn't cried yet. Jason wondered if it was safe to keep in so much emotion... Daniel, being the second eldest, took responsibility in making the meals. He would deliver the meals himself to the lonesome woman, but Marie insisted on doing that part herself. Lynn gratefully accepted the meals, but she said nothing. Her children began to wonder if she had even spoken at all since Collin passed. They were all facing the cruel truth that nothing could bring Collin back anyway. Besides, what could have stopped a nasty raid in such a horrible war?
It hurt more than anything she had ever experienced in her entire life. She couldn't cry though, not when her children could easily hear her. She had to be strong… for them. Lynn began coming out of her room to cook and do other things, trying to wean herself back into how life used to be. She found, though, that she just couldn't do it. No matter how hard she tried, her chest still felt that horrible pain. Her children took notice of how much their mother had changed since the incident. She was very quiet, and much less of that outgoing person he used to be. Lynn was in pain. She loved her children so much that the very idea of losing one of them hurt. Now that she actually had lost her youngest son, it just hurt even more.
Lynn had gone back to her room for the day one evening, and she started coming out less and less again. Her children worried about her well-being, but they didn't want to bother their mother. Was Collin really gone? Lynn thought to herself. No, this is all just a bad dream. Soon she’ll wake up in bed, and her youngest son will still be alive. Right?
After she realized it wasn't a dream, she tried to get the rest of her to realize it too. It still hurt whenever she passed Collin's room, or when she even thought of him. Part of her still seemed to think that he would be home soon. They say the dead never really leave. They remain in your heart or something like that. Lynn wondered if Collin really was there, which would explain why it hurt so much. It didn't help the fact that he was actually gone, so Lynn remained alone in her room.
Arthur wasn't in much better shape than his ex-wife. He left his room, but the bright green in his eyes had faded slightly to a duller emerald. He was Collin’s father, who had loved him very much. Arthur’s brothers would stop by for visits a few times a week and remain with Arthur until they had to go home for the day. During their first visit, Arthur sobbed in their arms. He let out all his grief in one blow, making himself feel a lot better.
He entered Collin's old room one morning from when he was staying with him, and opened a few of the books. They were old, but they were also in good shape. The boy took care of his things, Arthur concluded. Then he found a diary hidden behind some books. The worn man sighed, his heart breaking when he opened it to see the boy's handwriting. He couldn't read his handwriting, but that didn’t matter. He flipped a few to see the parts he could understand, only skimming them here and there. Most of it was full of scribbles. He saw how his son wrote and doodled in that book, and Arthur felt the tears in his eyes return. Arthur turned a few pages, looking for anything that caught his eye. He put down the book on the bed he was seated on when he heard the doorbell. It must have been his brothers, so he got up to go answer the door.
Arthur felt remorse and pain in his chest. He wondered how many people felt exactly the same as him. Probably most of whoever knew Collin, he concluded. Arthur barely spoke as he took part in a small conversation between his two visitors. His youngest brother then offered they all go out to dinner. It would be his treat; more like he asked his elder twin brother for money, and said brother reluctantly gave it to him. During some chit-chat at dinner, Arthur decided that tomorrow he'd visit someone who probably needed him right about now. After dinner, he went to pack a small suitcase and purchased the plane ticket online. The flight would leave in about a day or so.
Arthur arrived late in the airport about thirty-six hours later. He had called ahead and told Jason he was coming, so Jason and Marie were waiting for him there. Daniel was given the task to remain home in case Lynn did anything. It was only precautionary. The two young adults brought Arthur home with them, and helped him get situated in the guest room. The man felt a small tug on his heart as he passed Collin's room, but he didn't said nothing of it. Afterward, he asked where Lynn was. Daniel quietly led him over to the woman’s room, which was odd for him. Daniel was never quiet before, Arthur thought. He opened the door slowly, revealing the ebony-haired woman sitting alone in his room. He entered and closed the door behind him. Lynn looked up as the door clicked shut, and stood up as quickly as her body would allow. Her voice caught in her throat as she opened her mouth to speak. She worried she would burst into tears, so she closed his mouth again with nothing being said. Moments passed before she finally spoke "Arthur," Lynn said quietly.
There was no hesitation as the woman met her ex-husband halfway for an embrace, being engulfed by the man’s arms. Something about this situation only pushed Lynn closer to a break-down, so she had no choice. She threw away her pride and sobbed into his chest. Arthur rubbed the sobbing woman’s back to help soothe her. "I know," he said. "I miss him too, love."
"It hurts," Lynn finally spoke. "It hurts so much..."
Arthur placed a kiss the top of her head before murmuring, "I know. I promise it'll get better. Besides," he allowed Lynn to back himself up to look up at him, "I don't think staying in one place will help. He’ll always be with us in our hearts. Always."
His words moved her in ways unimaginable. Lynn moved back where she was, trying to get as much out of the embrace as she possibly could. The other didn't mind, and held her close. All that was concealed in the poor woman’s heart was finally released. A few moments passed before the sobbing slowed, and now Lynn was just resting her head against him. She finally felt as if some weight was taken from her shoulders. Arthur asked, "Feel better?"
"A little," Lynn admitted.
Jason and the others were curious, so they slowly opened the door to peek in at the two hugging parents. "Mom?" Daniel tried. He actually sounded a bit timid. Arthur relaxed his arms and put them to his sides while Lynn turned to look to her children. "I want one of those too..."
He meant a hug. Marie stepped up agreed with her brother. Lynn smiled weakly to them. "Then come get it," she said, holding out her arms with a chuckle and a sad smile on her face.
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